Relationships are trial and error like most things in life; the only catch is that the scars last. And don’t fool yourself thinking that you are alone in your misery. You definitely aren’t. Most relationships are like beautiful wooden houses that have termites in them, waiting to collapse.
To save yourself a lot of pain and trouble, we have brought you this list. These are 5 toxic behaviors that prove that you are in a relationship with a selfish person. Selfishness is something you should stay away from, because the scars it inflicts can be well-nigh impossible to erase.
Unless someone’s a witting sociopath, one never deserves to be taken advantage of. The best way to avoid emotional scarring is by recognizing the signs and leaving before they can touch you.
How do you know then?
Here are 5 toxic behaviors:
1. They are the decision makers all the time
This is pretty common and many of us are already nodding in unison. This is not the typical dominant partner deal; this is someone encroaching on your agency, your free will. This is someone making you the lesser person. This will slowly chip away at your confidence and make your self-esteem fall. Eventually when they do leave, which they will rest assured, you will be devastated. Don’t ever give someone that much control, especially control over you and your wants and needs.
2. ‘No’ is always on their lips
You will never find them agreeing. You will never find them celebrating your achievement. You will never find them having no issues with something you do. It’s always a ‘no’. If they are sad, you have to be sad with them. If they are happy, you have to be sad so that they can rub their happiness on your face. Whatever you say/want/ask for, ‘no’ is the answer. Honestly, you should leave before it gets tiring.
3. You are the one who does everything
Your birthdays get forgotten left, right and center. Theirs, however, are celebrated with a lot of pomp and show. They are the ones who are as they say, “stressed” and “tired”, while you must be the one who remembers the special days, moments, and put all the effort into everything around the place. You also have to handle your own life, because if you can’t, they’ll stop liking you; after all, you can’t even “take care of yourself”.
4. They always want to keep their options open
You’ll find them using phrases like, “let’s not label this”. They will further emotionally blackmail you saying how “if your love is true, labeling or not labeling things won’t matter.” They will always go for non-committal relationships and sex with no strings attached. This is never fair to you; you are being demeaned and used, to be honest. Whenever you see tendencies like this, make sure you run for your life. If someone doesn’t want to be in a 100% committed relationship with you, and wants to keep their options open, you shouldn’t be with them.
5. They never stop flirting with other people
And it’s never in a harmless, entertaining and funny way: it’s dead serious. Like I said, they always want to keep their options open. They are always interested in moving on to their next big affair. Besides, their general attitude would be one like a nomad. They would always be impatient about things you will. The only thing that they will not be impatient about however, is sex. They would be hungry for it, but never give a fig about your pleasure.
You see where we are going with this. If you see such toxic behavior in your boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s time you re-evaluate your own self-worth and say goodbye to them. You are a human being and not a toy waiting on them to serve their whims. You have an identity of your own.
Make sure to let it bloom.
The Best 3 Books about Love and Relationship You Must Read:
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
- Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex